Sorry, but this is simply not true.

Parallel parenting is designed to disengage parents and is akin to a train track. Each parent actively parents on independent rails with limited points of communication across the ties, and only when necessary.

Parallel parenting minimizes the need to communicate and often employs less direct methods of communication, such as email or co-parenting apps, but does not eliminate it.

Even in the most airtight of parenting plans, situations will arise that require some form of communication. Examples include relaying the results of medical and dental appointments, certain time sensitive or prolonged homework projects, unforeseen calls from the school about behaviour or educational needs, medical emergencies, items of importance or immediate need that may have been forgotten at the other parent’s home, decisions about renting or buying the tuba your junior high schooler has become passionate about playing in band, family reunions, special occasions and funerals that don’t align neatly within the parenting schedule, the discovery of lice and need for continuation of treatment in the other parent’s home or lost library books that have migrated to the other parent’s home.

In short, there are many unforeseen situations that simply cannot be planned for even in the most detailed parenting plan.

When it comes to kids, there will always be a need to communicate to some degree even if you would prefer not to.

There is a mindset one must adopt when it comes to parallel parenting and it’s not always easy. There is little accountability to each other as parents and this can require some resolve to stomach. Parallel parenting at its best, requires each parent to accept that the other has different parenting philosophies and recognizes that there will be variations in parenting between households. Despite how difficult it can be, parallel parenting requires adopting the idea that that unless your children are in imminent danger, or are suffering damages, one’s best course of action is often to realize that your way is not the only way to parent.

Parallel parenting arrangements require that parents each maintain their end of the parenting agreement and follow the parenting plan often down to the last detail, with minimal communication or flexibility. There will be things your children will miss out in your extended family life and things they struggle with that you can’t resolve. It can be a tough road. Surround yourself with good support, learn what you can and can’t control, maintain your commitment to great parenting in your home and never hesitate to get professional help during the rough patches.